The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.
Jizz and jet
shoot and scoot
blow your load and hit the road
bust ya nut and off ya strut
nick fury has got his arms around natasha like she’s the mother of his child and tony stark is that child and they’ve just heard the news about what tony did at school today and they don’t know how to best discipline him or how they manged to raise such a failure of a child
is that not the plot of iron man 2
he inhaled his scent. he smelled of (ingredient 1), (ingredient 2) and something undefinable, that was uniquely (name of buttsex partner)
- every single fanfiction uploaded in the last two years oh my god (via brood-of-froods)
I CAN’T HANDLE THIS
This ended completely different from what I expected
I like this. Don’t try to win someone’s love with gifts and flattery, just try to relate. It’s beautiful.
to all my homies out there who dig the stuff i dig
NOOOO NO NO NONO FUCK FUCK FUCKIG CBS IS TELLING WOMEN NOT TO REPORT SEXUAL HARASSMENT BECAUSE IT WILL “DAMAGE THEIR CAREERS” and “HARASSMENT IS AN UNFORTUNATE PART OF CLIMBING THE LADDER” I AM SO ANGRY THEY ARE LITERALLY TURNING SEXUAL HARASSMENT INTO A NORM THIS IS NOT OKAY
This is an actual article and I’m still having a hard time believing it’s real.
the fuck is this shit
AND ITS WRITTEN BY A WOMAN
NPR posted an article with a title asking why people don’t read anymore, but the content was just an April Fools joke. Then people started to embarrass themselves.
Pictured: a proper April Fool’s joke.